A friend recently asked me a question. In the New Testament book of James chapter 2, God commands us to not show favoritism. But what about our blood relatives? Should we not put them above others in our lives? It’s a great question, not only because it’s so practical. It’s a great question also because we should care enough to follow the teachings of Christ that we ask questions if they seem contrary to common sense.
I wrote the following reply.
That’s a good question! This is one of those times when the answer may be found in bringing together different Scriptures. All theology has to harmonize various Bible texts. On this topic of favoritism, I think these are some of the relevant texts.
Galatians 6:10 teaches us to love and care for all people, but especially Christians first
Ephesians 6:9 tells slave masters to treat their slaves well because God does not show partiality based upon human classes or status.
1 Timothy 5 talks about family responsibilities. Verse 8 explicitly teaches that we have a higher responsibility to care for family (like blood relatives).
And Ephesians 5 teaches that a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. That is the highest calling for human love. I think that means a spouse should be the highest priority even above your parents and children. After all, you left your parents to become one with your spouse. And your children will leave you for their spouses. In fact, a husband who loves others before his wife would be a bad husband.
So, while we are called to love everybody, God also gives us priorities in who first to show love towards. (We should be thankful for that guidance!) Does God love everybody? Yes, and we should too. But even Jesus did not provide equal attention to all people.
Jesus had his large group of disciples, perhaps up to 70. Out of that he focused on the 12 disciples. The 12 were divided into 3 groups of four. If you look at each of the lists of apostles in the gospels you’ll see that they are always listed in 3 groups of four. And among the 3 groups, the group most intimate with Jesus was Peter, James, John, and Andrew. And often it was only Peter, James and John. And even among those three, Peter is listed as the “first” disciple.
How does this work with James 2? I think it means there’s a carnal and wrong way to prioritize attention. That’s favoritism. In fact, the kind of attention a rich man receives in James 2 is not love, not for the rich man anyway. When we give preference to a rich person, it’s not because we love them but because we love ourselves. We hope that the rich person will be kind back to us. That’s the opposite of love, which is selfishness. And that’s what James is teaching against. Don’t favor people because of what they can give you. Favor them because of the responsibilities God has given us. It’s not favoritism if I love my kid more than other kids. It’s good parenting. Do I love other people’s kids? Yes. Do I love them a lot? Absolutely. In fact, I often pray that I will love the youth at church as much as I love my kids. But I know my responsibility to my own kids comes first.
And that’s why the Bible gives special place for the widows and orphans (like in James 1). The widows and orphans are those who have no family to take responsibility for them. That’s why the church needs to favor them above others.
Hope this helps. I am no scholar, so take this for whatever it’s worth. If you haven’t done so, I’d also suggest asking your leaders and pastor what they think about it too. I’m sure they’d have good things to say
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