At this point in my life, my leadership responsibilities include leading those who lead other leaders. Or, to lead people who will lead people who will lead people; great-grandchildren-leaders. That means the people I directly lead are more likely very capable leaders themselves. They make good decisions with sophisticated thought processes and values. But at times I still disagree with their choices. And since the responsibility of those decisions ultimately fall to me, I have asked some of my leaders who I oversee to do things my way.
But if the only time I disagree with my subordinate leaders are the times I feel strongly and assert my authority, then I begin to send a wrong message. The wrong message I begin to send is this: I don’t trust you. If you and I don’t see eye to eye, I’m going to ask you to do things my way.
I’m learning that it’s encouraging and empowering to tell the leaders I oversee things like, “I want you to know that I disagreed with your decision, and I still do. But I want to work through you, respect your leadership in this area, and give you opportunities to make choices that may even be mistakes. So even thoguh I disagree with you, I can still support you as you proceed down this path.
I hope it’s clear that these disagreements are not over moral, ethical, or fundamentally core issues. Those are worth asserting. But I’m learning it encourages my leaders to know that I did let them follow paths I would not recommend. It shows then that I am willing to trust them, to give them the chance to do something different, to take acceptable risks, and believe that I do not always have the right answer. (Far from it!)
So, I told one of the leaders under me today: That’s not the play I’d call, but I leave the decision to you. It’s your call and within these ethical and theological parameters, I’ll support your plan.
You might call this encouragement by disagreement.